What do you think of this poem of mine?Thinking about the time I've waited
Only to find that your love has faded.
Waiting for the day when those dreams come true
A clear vision of love, once promised by you.
Hearing the whispers of all your sweet lies
Visualizing the illusions that causes blindness to my eyes.
Still waiting for the day i feel your precious kiss
Never had I imagined it would end like this.
Sweet, strong I Love You's, I always used to hear
Now words with no meaning from a person who never cared.
As I stare at your picture, confusion fogs my mind
Punishing myself with questions, asking how I could be so blind?
The world said over and over, he's not worth one tear
Being in denial, I got caught up in my biggest fear.
Tiny little pieces, only miss one soul
Torn out from a full heart, now which has a hole.
I tried so hard to help it, to make everything right
The strength in my heart has weakened, no longer will i fight.
Posted by linz
you're really talented!! I love it..
Posted by trueblue88
That's very good! I don't think I like the phrase "used to hear" though. It somehow seems weak. Keep at it. You are very talented.
Posted by Jason G
Perfect!!!!! Sound like it came from the heart. Is your poem true. let me know..
Posted by sanjeev k
It can be ur creation,,,, becoz u r very genius girl.
Posted by Dondi
Let me start out by stating that what i post is the most honest opinion I can give. You deserve to know what is truly wrong and right with your poem. The only fault I can find is in the rhythm. You need to strive to get the syllable count into a rhythmic pattern so that the reader gets the full impact of what is being said. Other than that, You have done a remarkable job on what has got to be the best poem I have read so far today. Keep up the good work, and let us see more.
Orignal From: What do you think of this poem of mine?
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